Yesterday around two in the afternoon I walked into the woods behind our house to grab a hose I had left there and when I picked it up the sound apparently disturbed a pack of coyotes who were having some sort of secret club meeting. They were no more that a few hundred feet from me and started howling, growling and making a general ruckus in my direction. I decided my best move was to show them the bottom of my feet as I ran like a madman back to the house waving a garden hose behind me. I guess I’m going to have to start packing heat when I wander into our back yard from now on… maybe a rocket launcher or some kind of small bazooka. Do they sell those at Walmart?